Jesus had His disciples—twelve trusted, intimate people in His life continually, a core of relationships that He invested in deeply and deliberately. He had the crowds, yes, and He loved them. But He also had His inner circle, the ones who saw Him weary, heard His private prayers, and walked closest to His heart. Even within that twelve, there were three He brought into His most sacred moments. Jesus, fully divine and fully human, modeled something essential: that we cannot invest equally in everyone, and we were never meant to.
So how does this translate for me? For you? Who do I have in my circle that I consider core—the people I invest in continually and who reciprocate with investment in me?
My immediate family comes to mind first, rising like mountains on a familiar horizon. My spouse and children. These are the relationships that shape the landscape of my daily life. But the questions multiply from there: What about parents? Siblings? How far out does the inner circle go before it becomes something else—something less central, though still meaningful?
I'm learning that the immediate family is non-negotiable from an investment perspective. This isn't about obligation born from duty, but about intentional choice rooted in love. I must continually, daily invest in my spouse through personal interactions, prayer, love, and quiet support. This investment includes a firm boundary: I must never gossip about her in any way with anyone. Her dignity, her struggles, her humanity—these are not mine to share casually, even with people I trust.
My children demand the same respect as my wife—unconditional support no matter what they are going through. And here's where it gets complicated, where theory meets the messy reality of living. Will there be difficult times? Absolutely. Will there be times when I don't agree with the choices they make? Absolutely. But do they need my unconditional love regardless? Absolutely.
This unconditional love doesn't mean blind agreement. It means creating space where truth can be spoken and disagreement can exist without severing connection. It leads to an ability to speak truth along with the permission to disagree yet love and support. It's the kind of relationship where "I don't agree with your choice" can coexist with "and I'm not going anywhere."
My core must have my immediate family in it—that feels clear. Yet it demands intentional work and nurture. These relationships don't sustain themselves through proximity or legal ties. They require the same deliberate investment Jesus showed His disciples: time, attention, presence, vulnerability, consistency.
But then the harder question emerges: Who else needs this type of support after them? Who else belongs in that inner circle? A trusted friend who's walked through fire with you? A mentor who's shaped your spiritual journey? A chosen family member who knows your heart better than some who share your blood?
Ultimately, that's up to you, and it may even shift with seasons of life. The core isn't static—it breathes and changes as circumstances evolve, as people grow closer or drift apart, as life presents new relationships and old ones complete their seasons. There's no magic number, no formula that works for everyone.
What matters is this: core is essential and needs to be defined and intentionally nurtured.
As someone trying to follow Christ with intention, I'm learning that defining my core isn't selfish—it's stewardship. It's recognizing that my capacity for deep investment is finite, and that choosing to pour deeply into a few relationships honors both them and me more than spreading myself thin across dozens of surface connections.
Jesus loved the multitudes. But He invested His deepest self in twelve, and His most vulnerable moments in three. He knew something we often forget: that love can be universal while intimacy must be particular.
So I'm learning to draw my circle with intention. To name who's in it and to nurture those relationships with the copious attention they deserve. Not to exclude others from love, but to give my core the depth of investment that creates the kind of spiritual family where we can truly know and be known.
That's the circle worth protecting. That's the core worth cultivating.
